Behold, an Indiegogo campaign for Ted Cruz dildos.

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Why just Ted Cruz? I don’t know. I don’t think anyone knows. But if you donate and it gets funded, and Ted Cruz dildo-sculptures are made and sold, you know he’ll hear about it. And for that reason alone — the look on his pasty little troll face when he hears about it — I am thinking seriously about giving them some money. And maybe you should too, because otherwise, Ted Cruz will never have his face sculpted into a silicone dick-substitute. Besides, who wants to live in a world where horrible people never get their likenesses immortalized in wiener-form??

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